Just Scroll with It.
When I said I’m never on Instagram that was not exactly true. By “never” I meant “constantly.” I thought that was implicit.
Trust you will never see my well lit, polished, candid (in the least possible candid manner) face gracing your feed. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if I wear a super cute outfit and don't post a selfie, did I even really dress up? Even the Mob Wives trend couldn’t bring me out of retirement which was tragic because a broken clock is right twice a day.
Working in influencer marketing I’m on Instagram A LOT. I’m discovering creators, list building, spotting trends, pulling data. Then, I’m having conversations, constantly emailing, and sending products. And then comes the true FOMO. You may feel like you’re missing out when your friends go to sushi, but my work depends on tracking products from the moment they land on a doorstep until that glorious moment when they land on IG for free. There is no way to short cut any of this and still get a high ROI so my sneakiest hack is to hold my phone at eye level with a straight arm as a quasi workout while reducing neck wrinkles.
But, despite the inherent demands of work, I consciously limit the time spent on my phone, particularly around my almost 9-year-old daughter. I am trying to foster a (adult voice) “healthy digital environment at home” where the values of relentless chatting and poorly executed games of Scrabble are most important.
I won’t delve into all the well known negative associations with social media- opportunity cost, impact on mental health, distraction/disconnection and a skewed perception of reality. Social media is bad: ok, we know this, but as they say in the Godfather, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Anyways, the value of time is an esoteric concept and if your time is better served on social media than going down a google/reddit/GPT4 Rabbit Hole of ailments/ex boyfriends/etc, enjoy.
But over the years, I have found some tips and tricks to work and social media where the pull is always present, to not totally lose your s**t.
Check Social Media and Then Be Gone, Girl
I need to check social media often, but I don’t loiter. Honestly, at this point I am almost immune to cute things- of course I have 10 glitter mushrooms and multiple sets of coupe glasses that look like flowers, and a vast selection of velvet hair bows. If you work in a bakery I doubt you spend all day eating cake. I know every trend (thank god to miss the “tap in and show yourself at 21” moments). I’ll log on, track all the influencers I’ve seeded, and be done, unless I am in the middle of a deep dive for work. No more lengthy excavations into the lives of ex’s from 2010. I came, I saw, I screenshotted placements, I conquered.
I Lean Into the Inherent Boringness of Life
We are constantly waiting for something- in a line, alongside the lazy river of an indoor pool watching kids go by for the 89 thousandth time and cheering every third time, public transportation (ok, not me because, yuck, but others, yes). Phones are our security blankets that help keep us safely in our bubble, social media are our lullabies. I don’t bring my phone to school pickups. When my daughter leaves school I want her to see that I am happy to see her, and not buried in a screen. I wait patiently, my mind wandering to typical mind wandering nonsense and have socially awkward chats with other parents about very boring topics like weather and pants. True, it makes it more difficult to avoid unwanted conversations with The City Council Dad, but I close my eyes and pretend I’m in a meditation until The Mom From Poland Who Reads A Lot wanders into my orbit and I can re-enter society.
Which Takes Me to My Next Point: Reading
There was a time in life when all I did was read (it was called college). Then, over the years, my brain waves began to change and it seemed like the only thing I could process was my own selfies, short emails, and dance routines that involved a lot of hand movements that would give me carpal tunnel. Over the last year I have spent a significant amount of work time on social media, and yet have read more books than I have in the past decade combined. Reading forces me to concentrate and really put my phone down. My daughter described me to a friend as having “curly hair, lots of flower dresses and always reading,” which, despite making me sound like the personification of a Calico Critter, made me nearly burst at the seams because I know I’m setting a good example (and also I love to brag, “Guess how many books I’ve read this year?” and everyone rolls their eyes).
Don’t be Rude
Making others feel like a second class citizen in favor of your phone is generally impolite, and makes no sense. When I am with a person I want them to feel they are of utmost importance. Sure, there are moments where I have to respond to an urgent request while in the middle of something with my daughter or have to shop the ASOS sale while on a hike with my Mom, but those are generally exceptions and not the rule. And, the less you’re on your phone, the more you notice how literally everyone else is always on their phones and then it starts to make you irate and use your free time to write essays on Linkedin that 3 people will like.
Finally, Never Be Green With Envy
In a world where so much looks glossy and perfect, or messily constructed, influencers have their job, and I have mine. We can all coexist happily without envy feels. Minus some missguided posts around 2017 I don’t want to influence. To overstate and intellectualize why my influencer campaigns are successful: I analyze the systems from a psychological standpoint and then work them advantageously which can only be achieved through distance and healthy criticism, while working on my sofa in a SKIMS sweatsuit.
And that is something to like.